Turn the "rolodex of emotions" and I hit, obsequious.

A long time ago, I played an unconscious game that until recently it occurred how difficult it would be for me to undo the damage. I traded my tender soul to stand on center stage. The nocturnal heat of night club frenzy where I felt the burning stares pressing my body and my ears infused by lustful noise. Both genders with the carnal hunger to taste my skin. After I had my second abortion, it was easy to feed their appetite. This was the beginning of my insensate game. It's wasn't about the drinks or the drugs or the sex, that was extra. It was the absent of choice and the freedom to live it. One, two, and then three vodka shots and I was all about the present scene while the liquor blurred my vision and playful thirst filled my veins until all the static deflated and I became hostage to this high.