Grateful Emancipation

One swallow and I was transformed.  My sedated mind finally able to greet and smile without pretension.  Pressured to share the tiny but greatly affected part of my daily routine with my coworkers allowed them to enter a part of my life I was unprepared to welcome.  To many, I've been claimed an "open book".  There is a large degree in which I understand this point but there are also many things I don't vocalize nor share with some of my closest friends.  Only those that fully opened their heart to me showed me willingness to unlock secrets I laboriously bare.  It was infinite despair weighing on my anxious nerves that survived me from hitting the peak of mental failure.  One round tiny pill and my body loosened to life, to work, to be the person I had to be today.  My body involuntarily absorbed by the pill effects, drained my energy and though I'm not spinning off that dizzy edge, I am TIRED.

Vexed Immobility

The mere thought of getting older is arduously taxing for this soul.  I mentioned the realization of being fixated on the word "bones" today.  The word itself invokes vivid images of shifting age that I catch myself seeking clarity.  It would be easy to admit it's my shell I contain that causes me to accept the years I've acquired but unprovoked reflections of past has placed an unnecessary burden on my thoughts.  The cycle of exhaustion, being tired, and feeling unproductive.  Perhaps it's the last thought that forces me to re-examine how I feel.  No revelation, my chaotic thoughts drag me down to a most vexed immobility. How have I been processing all this information and not achieved the ability to understand the most absurd situations?  For now, I have no answer.  The mind IS a powerful thing.  Mine leads me to tragic places but brings me unexpected joy.  This week, without pills, I was surprisingly released from genetic disorder.  Over too sweet apple pie and overcooked crab cakes, I was able to laugh before my body wanted to cry.