"Looking for something I've never seen.  Alone and I'm in between." 

Finally took the step to see my mother.  The most unreasonably difficult person in my entire world.  Also, one of the people that have the most impact in my life.   Took the path and entered the renovated world that is her and did something I had never thought of doing.  I went straight to the fridge, grabbed a beer and sat down for dinner.  After awkward hugs and shy greetings from close and distant family members, I was once again at our usual family dinner.  Nothing short of the unusual.  The drunk stepfather, my anxious mother, my overly talkative sister, but some things changed.  It seemed after Chloe entered my life, the rest of the family followed suit and got dogs of their own.  No comparison to the outrageously cute factor that is Chloe but dogs nonetheless.  And one other thing, the stepfather and I had beer.  Yah, may seem common but not common at all and somehow this allowed him to approach me.  He repeatedly said, "You're too skinny.  It's not good for you to be too skinny."  It wasn't a compliment but better than he's ever been, ever before.  For now, it's all I can take.  For now.  Who knows about later.