Vexed Immobility

The mere thought of getting older is arduously taxing for this soul.  I mentioned the realization of being fixated on the word "bones" today.  The word itself invokes vivid images of shifting age that I catch myself seeking clarity.  It would be easy to admit it's my shell I contain that causes me to accept the years I've acquired but unprovoked reflections of past has placed an unnecessary burden on my thoughts.  The cycle of exhaustion, being tired, and feeling unproductive.  Perhaps it's the last thought that forces me to re-examine how I feel.  No revelation, my chaotic thoughts drag me down to a most vexed immobility. How have I been processing all this information and not achieved the ability to understand the most absurd situations?  For now, I have no answer.  The mind IS a powerful thing.  Mine leads me to tragic places but brings me unexpected joy.  This week, without pills, I was surprisingly released from genetic disorder.  Over too sweet apple pie and overcooked crab cakes, I was able to laugh before my body wanted to cry.